Neighbor Drama

How do you explain to your professors that your neighbor and her boyfriend kept you up all night as they indulged in insanely uninhibited sex until 4 a.m?

Last night filled up my cup of patience with her. See, this girl, who lives next door to me in a tiny 10'x10' single room, like mine, has effectively decided to let her boyfriend come live with her. I see him every night as we both cross paths down the corridor as I get a drink or visit with my other friends down the hall and he (always) goes to the bathroom.

This girl has the right to do whatever, and if she wants her boyfriend to visit, then good for her. But please, your room is a single for a reason. Also, if this guy is practically going to be living in our hall, the least he could do (as in intruder) is to be friendly on the most superficial level. A hello or smile would do. But no, he walks around and pisses in our toilet, leaving his light brown pubes all over, and he brushes his teeth a million times a day in our bathroom, leaving those white toothpaste/spit dot marks all over our faucet and mirrors. I put up with all that, AND he doesn't even have the decency to say hello? Well maybe he's a bit ashamed of himself.

That's not the only thing, our room arrangements don't help the situation. My desk is up against the wall we share, and her bed is on the other side of that wall. Each and every night, like a charm, I inevitably hear the giggles which then progress into moaning and occasional bangs on the wall. And then, after the climax of noise, there's a moment of silence, and again, like a charm, they emerge out of her room together and both go to the bathroom to brush their teeth together. That's the other thing about them, they're absolutely addicted to toothbrushing: 5 times a day, easily. I don't know, makes me think that if you brush your teeth that much, especially after producing such unusual sounds from your room, then you must be up to something nasty.

Usually though, this all goes down between 10 p.m. and midnight, and I rationalize my tolerance by telling myself that I'm still up anyway and that the only reason I hear is because I'm at my desk and so close to whatever they're doing. Besides, I really like where my desk is, right against my window. But last night proved me wrong.

At 2:20 a.m. I went to fill up my waterbottle and saw the boyfriend emerge from her room and march past me down the hall. I had never seen him over this late, what was he doing? I go back to my room and attempt to read till I fall asleep. At around 3 a.m. I hear a bang against that wall, and then the voices. It escalated, and I could hear her boyfriend's deep voice, which is especially good at penetrating our walls, moan incessantly into my room. On occasion I heard her giggle, every few minutes there was a bang against the wall, but his deep moans just would not stop!

They kept me up until 4 a.m. easily, and mind you I was in bed, which is not against our shared wall, so they were being especially loud and obnoxious. I was going to go over to tell them to shut up, but I was too tired; didn't want to hear an awkward shuffle as I knock on the door; didn't want to see her or her boyfriend partially naked, sweaty, nor panting; was too angry to attempt a "polite" request. Grrr.

The funny thing is that these two love birds claim to be very religious. A very long, serious personal essay that my neighbor's boyfriend wrote to persuade readers to remain abstinent till marriage has also notoriously circulated throughout my dorm, adding to the irony of the situation. Puh-leaze. I doubt they gather in her room nightly to sing their praises to the Lord.