Final Stretch

I might have said in Fall 2005 that this year was my final stretch. Then I probably said in January 2006 that this semester was my final stretch. Then in late March 2006 after spring break, it was my real final stretch with no breaks left. But now, this... This is my real final stretch.

It's officially May and I have two weeks until the official deadline for my thesis. I have one final after that, but meh. That just seems like kicks-and-giggles in comparison. Thesis writing has not gone well, but I'm taking my next week off of work and I hope, hope, hope, to start buckling down on it this week.

Popular mythology holds that seniors should get all sentimental and nostaglic as their days in college stumble to a drunken end. That hasn't been true for me at all. In fact, I'm a little surprised at how unsentimental I feel about this whole experience. I took a walk through campus in the beautiful weather on Saturday to take pictures to remember this place by and when it was all over it just felt like another nice walk, not much else.

Today will be my last Monday of classes in college. Yet it just felt like another Monday. I catch myself walking around campus and for snap seconds staring at a certain building or view and wondering if I should connect this precious moment with the gravity that these are my final days living here. The connection only remains in question form, and the thought drifts away unanswered.

I'm concerned with the minutia that have always concerned me here. Worried about my last problem set, putting off my last reading for class (The Patriot Act--snoring!), worried about my work schedule, and how I'll juggle everything and get everything done. I have a feeling my last few weeks here will fizzle into the most mundane ending--with a lot of stress, and a lot of work, not nearly enough sleep, just like my past three years here--only with the added nuisance of having to chase a few professors for letters of recommendation and dealing with administrative issues that have to do with graduation.

Well, I've been unable to touch my thesis for the last few days, but I suppose I no longer have the luxury of putting it off... Back to the same old--work!